It's nice that my kids are recognized by the First Lady. But I wonder, what are they being recognized for? For being brave? For doing without their parents? For some, seeing their parents wounded or worse in service of our country?
My kids go long periods without their Dad when he is deployed. They are brave about the the dangers of his job, but then they are young, and a bit sheltered. And many kids grow up missing a parent, not just military kids.
I think the main difference that being military kids makes for my kids, is that they have a clear understanding of courage. They know there are bad guys in the world, and that the only way to make the world safe(er) and just is for brave people to step up.
They will not take freedom for granted. They know Dad misses their birthdays and summer vacations and many family dinners because he volunteers to defend democracy and America. That he helps catch bad guys on the other side of the world.
My kids have also lived in many parts of the country, visited many national parks and monuments on our cross country moves, and understand that the world is big. That communities vary widely. That there are many languages and skin colors and foods and cultures.
Do they need our governments' help? They already have health care, and housing, covered. What more can Uncle Sam do for them?
Jill Biden and Michelle Obama mention our communities, and that's exactly what our kids (and military spouses) need most. My friends and neighbors who babysit, or share a meal, or listen to you vent.Who bring in the garbage cans, or mow the lawn, or drive your kid to school. Help their at-home parent be a better parent, a less-stressed parent. I always say, when it comes to helping kids, help the mom to help the kid.
And show their gratitude for our troops. I can't tell you how that makes my kids beam!
When my husband was returning form his first deployment, just after September 11th, I went to Publix to get a rack of lamb for his homecoming meal. The butcher happened to see me looking at lamb, offered his help, and I told him what I was buying and why. He said he'd go pick a cut himself. He came back with the most beautiful rack of lamb he'd just trimmed for me, and told me to thank my husband for his service. I cried over the meat case.
I had no kids yet, so I suppose that's unrelated to military children. But that's how meaningful saying thanks is to military familes. I think it means even more to us than to our servicemembers. Of course they appreciate it. But I know my husband's response is "well, it's my job." Heroes usually don't feel like heroes. They shrug and squirm a bit under praise.
But their kids! For a kid to hear someone else thank their Dad. To see other's respect and appreciate their parent for the job he does when he is missing those birthdays and holidays and weekday dinners . . . they are proud. And pride will get you through a lot of deployment.
I'm proud of my military children.
