We are fast approaching the end of our time here in sunny SoCal, and it is making me sad. Come May, we will be making our 5th Permanent Change of Station to the Norfolk/Virginia Beach area. We were supposed to stay here til October, so I am having a tough time mentally psyching myself up for leaving. I have missed my family while we've been out here, and I know I feel like an East Coaster deep down inmy soul. But I definitely have some California that has become a part of who I am.
And I am terrified that I will not find friends like I have here. Friends who call anytime of day and just say, "Hey, it's me." Friends who stop by unannounced. Friends who I can call to take my kids. Friends who will come to dinner with an hours notice, who will invite me over to stay up late playing dumb games and getting silly over a bottle or two of wine. Being a SAHM is hard, and lonely as well, if you don't have a few kindred spirits in the same boat with you. I need moms like me who need me as much as I need them.
I am also going to miss my house. It's too small, and too awkward for entertaining, and it's an unremarkable condo in cookie-cutter suburbia, but we made it ours and we made memories here. Jimmy could barely talk when we arrived. He learned to ride a trike on this sidewalk. I remember when he could barely climb the ladder at the playground. Just like our last move, I really hate leaving his bedroom behind, with all the memories of toddler Jimmy in it.
And this is where we had Hope. This is where I carried her. Talked to her. Walked with her. Felt her kicking and turning in my belly while I slept in our room. After she came and went, I would go running in this neighborhood and cry behind my sunglasses.
And then this is where Mary was born. Come to think of it, I was pregnant most of the time I was here. Lugged my round, breathless self up and down these stairs so many times you'd think it would have kept me in better shape. ;-)
But we're moving on soon. I know, of course, that the memories will always stay with us, and that we have new memories to make in Virginia. I bought a Berensteins Bears book for Jimmy, called Moving Day, I think. To help him understand what to expect. I've been worried about how he will feel about leaving behind his friends, his room, his school. I knew there had to be some children's books to help kids with the transition.
Now I wonder if there are any to help moms.
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