Small Things

Top 5 Signs Autumn is Coming

Here in Southern California, we can't rely on the usual signs that summer is over and that fall is on the way. Our school district is year-round, so for my kids, back-to-school time was in the middle of July. And come September, there is no real turning of leaves. I've noticed the one deciduous tree over my driveway sheds it's leave continuously, with a major mess dropping in early summer, not autumn.

But I love autumn, it's the best time of year, so I do look forward to the few clear signs that it's almost here.

1. The heat breaks, and I can turn off the air conditioning. August can be brutally hot. While the weather is mild year-round here, if we are going to have a heat wave, it happens in august. We live a good 25 minutes from the beach, so we have fewer breezes, no marine layer, and long, long days of unadulterated clear blue skies. Every. Single. Day. No clouds, no rain, no merciful low-pressure fronts bringing thunder storms. What I wouldn't give for a good afternoon thunder-shower.

2. I stock up on cake mix for birthdays. My son's birthday is in October, and my oldest daughter's is in September. Just this week I made cupcakes for her preschool class, a cake for our family after her birthday dinner, and I have one more to make for her actual party on Friday. This is a ridiculous amount of cake in one week. But I love making homemade (read: messy) birthday cakes, and this year, I successfully made all-natural pink frosting tinted with beet juice. I've come a long way since the Red-Dye Incident of 2004.

3. Pumpkin Spice Latte returns to Starbucks. Need I say more?

4. The corn maze is gettin' high. I always drive a convoluted back road route to get to the highway, because the fast-connecting newish highway has a mind-boggling toll of $2.50. I refuse to pay it, unless I am seriously running late for an appointment. I like the back way, because the valley is filled with heady aromas of sage and eucalyptus, and sometimes, just past the hand-lettered sign that reads "Andalusion Stallion at Stud," we see horses out for a walk past the golf course. I recently drove my friend to the Navy hospital when she was in serious labor, and on autopilot I passed the connector and headed down the backroads. I was afraid she was going to get upset, but she was so busy with contractions and practically smacking out the windows of her Volvo with her hand that she didn't notice or say anything. So, along this back route is a christmas tree farm/pumpkin patch that is vacant all summer, but when we can see the pumpkins growing and the corn maze getting high, we know fall is just around the corner. My kids get excited when the hay bales appear and lights are strung, they happily remind me that it's almost pumpkin season.

5. The new fall season of television. I'm not that excited about it this year, because I don't watch many prime time shows. I'm still waiting for Big Love, and Biggest Loser, and the new American Idol. I feel a little guilty about it, but I do enjoy Desperate Housewives. Normally, my husband and I love all the Law and Orders, but I can't watch when he's deployed because it'll make me think too much about violent crime and then I'll never get any sleep. I am really enjoying Jay Leno at 10, it's just what I need as I get ready for bed, a little amusing and timely monologue that I don't have to sit through the local news to get to.

I do miss the traditional shopping for school supplies and sweaters and corduroys, and the crunching  fall leaves waiting to be raked into big piles for kids to jump in. I am an East Coaster at heart. But I picked up a couple of short corduroy skirts at Old Navy, which coordinate nicely with my brown flip flops. And Trader Joe's has some nice looking chrysanthemums. This fall also brings another Homecoming, when my husband's carrier returns home to San Diego next month. It's going to be a great autumn.

Top 5 Mom Injuries

Moms often come across warnings of common dangers to our children, but rarely do we see statistics on what kinds of injuries mothers commonly suffer. Now, I am not researching official records of reported injuries, my list is purely anecdotal.

1. Failing to fully clear a babygate and crashing down face first, possibly spraining a wrist. I was never really into sports, so I haven't much experience with being thrown to the ground, tackled, or otherwise finding myself prostrate and in pain. But at least twice I have tripped mid-gate-hurdling and crashed down, so violently that I lay there a good minute getting over the pain and gathering strength to get up again. Unfortunately, there are no teammates to take a knee while waiting to see if I'm ok, no spectators to clap politely when I do finally walk away from it. Then again, I am usually glad no one sees me do stuff like this.

2. Being bitten shockingly hard while clearing a choking hazard from your toddler's mouth. You know the feeling, those tiny little new baby teeth chomping down on your knuckle so tightly you can't help crying out. Sometimes it's even difficult to open the baby's jaw, and when you finally do you gaze in pain at the very deep impressions left on your finger, while the baby's smiles at her little game. Makes me marvel at how resiliant fingers are.

3. Burns from the oven. This has got to be a common one. It may not be ideal. but sometimes you've got to put things in or take things out of the oven while keeping a toddler away with one foot. So you only halfway open the oven door to slide in the baking sheet at an angle, brushing your hand or wrist againt the oven roof, or rack, or door. Ouch.

4. Mystery bruises. Ever step out of the shower and notice bruises on your hip or shin or arm that you don't remember getting? My husband thinks I'm crazy when I say I don't know where they came from, but moms are often so busy rushing, hauling, carrying, and thinking of what to make for dinner at the same time we don't even notice getting injured.

5. Repetitive back strain. This must, by far, be the most universal and endemic kind of injury mothers suffer. It starts during pregnancy, when your abs are stretched and spread til they are useless, and continues through various stresses and posture contortions, like lying on only your left side for 4 months, carrying laundry with a 1 year old on your hip, or nursing a baby while working on the computer.

So, moms, any of these strike a chord with you? Have I forgotten some other common injuries? We moms forget our injuries easily, seems we are always focused on our kids injuries. It may be a pain to be a mom sometimes, but when you've got a preschooler to sympathetically kiss you boo-boos and make it better, there's nothing sweeter.

Weekly Mom's Top 5: Family Christmas Traditions

When couples marry, they face a lot of compromise, and holidays can be trickier to negotiate then congressional bailouts. Luckily, my husband and I have been together since we were embryos (ok, not really, that would make us twins). So we were introduced to each other's Christmas traditions while we were still living with our parents, enjoying the holiday from a kids' perspective. Once we went off to college, we took turns staying at each other's parents' houses for Christmas break, and came to appreciate the few differences in how our families "do" Christmas.

Once we married and had our own tree, hearth, and home, I was surprised at how much we still managed to find to argue about. The biggest fight was about colored lights vs. white lights, and I believe I actually cried in the Home Depot parking lot. (My husband, bull-headed? Me, over-emotional? Never!) I remember complaining to my Dad on the phone about how uncompromising Jamie was being, expecting to get some sympathy. Instead, Dad suggested that colored lights might mean a lot to Jamie, and that it would be a small sacrifice, and maybe we could switch next year. We had colored lights that year, and I am woman enough to admit the tree looked quite cheerful and festive.

Colored lights aside, as the wife and mom, I am certainly the primary Boss of Christmas. There's probably a more graceful way of saying that, but as I am trying to sneak this post in when I should have started dinner 15 minutes ago and the kids are dangerously close to the daily 5:30 whine-fest, I'll settle for that title. I oversee unloading the Christmas boxes, I do almost all the gift shopping, wrapping, and shipping, the cards, the decorating, the table setting, and it might be safe to say, ALL of the clean up. Jamie has taken over most of the cooking, which I miss doing, but haven't figured out how to make time for. Jamie is a good cook.

Now for the the list. My Top 5 Favorite Family Christmas Traditions:

1. Singing carols on Christmas Eve. My sisters have always been very musical, my younger sister is a music therapist and plays like 27 instruments. Her husband is a talented classical guitarist. While my talent is harder to pinpoint, I do like to sing, and we always do a lot of that at Christmas.

2. Christmas Eve mass. We dress up, and rush to get seats, and it's always overcrowded and overheated, but I love it. I love the candles, and the singing, and the feeling of anticipation, of impending happiness. We actually missed it this year. We arrived a half hour before the children's mass, to standing room only, which we just can't do with a baby, a preschooler, and a kindergartner. So we left, and went back the next morning at 10:30. (I cried a little over it, though.)

3. Noche Buena. The Cuban side of my husband's family always celebrates on Christmas Eve with a pork roast, black beans and rice, and fried plantains, among other things. We continued this traditional meal at our house the first time we hosted our own Christmas Eve, and now my family enjoys it too. Jamie cooks it all, pretty much, which works well because I am usually still busy with last minute gift wrapping, and getting the kids ready for church.

4. The Stockings. At my house, when we were growing up, our stockings were an important part of Christmas morning. They were handmade by my mother, and Santa always stuffed them to overflowing. We would all come downstairs and admire the pile of presents around the tree, and then head to the mantle to each take down our stocking and cradle it on our lap while Dad made coffee and Mom combed her hair, put on slippers, and whatever else she decided was worth making us wait in torture. We unwrapped the presents in the stocking first, things like paperback books, cassette tapes, inexpensive earrings, chocolates, candy canes, gum, and makeup. It was hard to get Jamie to accept the Stocking tradition. At his house, the stockings were kind of an afterthought. I was there one Christmas during college when his Mom had us all paint our names on fuzzy red stockings with glitter paint. (I guess she suspected I was probably a keeper.)  They still hang those stockings to this day, but they are not a major player. We've found lotto tickets, or a roll of film, in them before. When we are there for Christmas, I usually stuff a little something in them all. I have made Jamie do Stockings first every Christmas at our house, except this one, because the kids' toys were too big a lure for them. Who can ignore a 7x4 foot slotcar racetrack long enough to sit and dig through a stocking? So we did the tree first this year. But I plan to restore the proper order in the future.

5. Epiphany. We leave the tree and all the decorations up for the full twelve days of Christmas, until the Feast of Epiphany. Traditionally, that's when the three wise men reached the baby Jesus to give their gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

As always, please feel free to share your favorite traditions!

Weekly Mom's Top 5: Christmas Movies

One movie is conspicuously NOT on my list--I really don't get that excites about It's a Wonderful Life. Doesn't move me all that much, in fact, as things go from bad to worse, I dread watching the poor guy. My favorites may not even all be truly "Christmas" movies, but they are shown during the holiday season. 1. Elf. When it came out a few years ago, we all loved it, and it has stood the test of time not only each successive Christmas, but all through the year. My daughter and her friend have been watching it and acting out scenes since July. We know lines so well, we really should put it on as family entertainment. 2. The Bells of St. Mary's. My family always watched this around Christmas when I was a kid, and I love both Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman. Plus, we're Catholic, so we like to laugh at boxing nuns. ;-) If you haven't seen it, rent it. Jamie bought me the DVD a couple of years ago. 3. The Sound of Music. I love to sing with Maria, the songs remind me of being twelve. After watching, I sing Edelweiss to my kids every night for a week. 4. A Charlie Brown Christmas. Isn't this a favorite to everyone over 30? It was such a big deal to stay up after 8 to watch it on TV. Kids these days aren't as impressed with Peanuts, and they can watch animated movies anytime they want. When we were kids, it was event. 5. A Christmas Story. I think this one seems a classic to any age group, even though it came out in the 80's and is set in 40's. My husband just told me you can buy the Christmas Story Leg Lamp online. He also just saw that it is directed by the same guy as Porky's. There's some trivia to share at your next Christmas Party. I've only watched Elf so far this year, and a portion of Charlie Brown. It's time to dig out the Bells of St. Mary's I think! Did I miss any of your favorites? Let me know!

New! Weekly Mom's Top 5: This week it's snacks

For some time I've been wanting to start a weekly meme, like so many other bloggers have, i.e. Manly Man Monday, Fun Monday, or Works-for-me-Wednesday. I feel like a Top 5 might be pretty generic, but it leaves the category wide open for whatever is on my mind each week. Maybe that will help me get it done each week.

This week's Top 5 is on my mind because my children seem to ALWAYS be asking for snacks. I try to re-establish regular meal-times, make them eat a full lunch to head of the afternoon of begging, but they will beg anyway. There are days I run out of healthy snack ideas, there are days I run out of healthy snacks! I really could use some suggestions from other moms for quick and easy snacks to stock.

I do NOT mean that I want suggestions for snacks we can bake together, assemble to look like cute animals, or spend a day cooking and preportioning and stocking the fridge with in advance. I mean something I can open the cupboard and fridge and pretty much hand over with minimal spooning, scooping, or unwrapping.

Hear are the Top 5 Snacks in my house:

1. Whole Grain Goldfish

2. Yoplait Dora/Diego Smoothies (the ones with no colors and less sugar)

3. Raisins

4. Apple slices

5. Orange slices

Clearly, I could use some more suggestions. The kids get tired of the same old thing, and I feel like variety is healthier, right? Please tell me, moms, if your kids are all-day snackers like mine--what snacks are Tops in your house?

5 Things I Can't Wait to Stop Saying to My Kids

I love being a mom to my very young children. I really do. I especially love the baby stage, I have said many times that I'll take an infant anyday, I can handle the sleep issues, crying, nursing, all that. I love that part and I feel like I'm good at it. It's when they start walking and talking that my patience and confidence wane. I still love it, but it is sooooooo hard.

Sometimes I give myself a little pep-talk about how this is just one stage in my life, someday they all will be older and be able to feed themselves, go potty by themselves, entertain themselves . . . and then I will miss how little and sweet they are now. But I do long for the day when my thoughts and words and daily routine are saner, calmer, more grown-up oriented. In particular, I long for the day that I am no longer saying any of the following:

1. Put it down, that's not a toy. This applies to makeup, my cell phone, scissors, picture frames, anything and everything, really, that could be broken, or break something else, or be lost, or spill, or that just isn't, well, a toy.

2. You only write on paper! As opposed to furniture, walls, or skin.

3. Are you dry? The stage when you are asking this is accompanied by doing lots of extra laundry and wiping the floor way too often.

4. Why are you wet? You would think this is related to the last question, but it's not. Too often, this question reveals an entirely different surprise.

5. If you (insert dangerous or violent activity) again, I will spank you. Before kids, of course I thought I would never spank. And I hardly ever do. This sentence is always (ok, almost always) preceded by a warning, and then a time out, and I do try to reserve it for dangerous things like unbuckling their seatbelts repeatedly while we're driving, or standing on top of the baby, or running into the street, or holding the baby upside-down by her ankles, or throwing toys down the stairs, etc.

I am sure there will new things to say someday over and over, about doing homework, chores, cleaning their rooms, etc. To everything there is a season. I just hope this season leaves my sanity intact.

5 Baby Things I Don't Need

Of all the stuff marketed to moms, there are very few that I really need. I already listed my must-haves, and now here are the 5 that don't make the cut. Every mom will have her own opinion, of course, and if you are a first-time mom, it is hard to predict which ones you will truly find handy. But I am a third-timer, so these are the things I know I don't need.

1. Formula. I am so grateful that breastfeeding has always been fairly easy for me. I feel good knowing that my babies have only ever had the real thing, as nature intended. I know it's not that easy for everyone, but I, personally, have never had to spend a dime on nor have my babies needed a single drop of baby formula.

2. The Boppy. This one may have some readers gasping in disbelief, I know there are moms out there who love their nursing pillow. I have one, and I did use it some with my first baby. With my second, I started to feel like it was more a hassle than a help. Now with my third, I haven't even taken it out of the closet. Just don't have a need for it.

3. The Diaper Genie. I don't use many disposable diapers, but even when I've been on disposables for a couple of days, I would never want one of these in my house. Disposables stink SO much, they just go straight in my garbage can, which gets taken out in less than a day. I could never keep a stinky diaper contraption in my kids room. I do keep a small garbage can with a step lid for cloth diapers, but there is never really any poop in there, and the wet cloth diapers don't stink anywhere near as much as disposable. By day 3, when I am due to wash diapers, it smells pretty much like your kids bed the morning after they've peed in it. Doesn't take a genie to tell me when it's time to tote it to the laundry room.

4. Breastfeeding covers. When I am nursing in public, I prefer to attract as little attention as possible. I feel like draping a blanket or nursing cover over my shoulder, chest, and baby would look too obvious to those in-the-know, and for those who don't know, would invite curious stares until the lightbulb comes on and they look away, feeling embarrassed that they were staring for so long. I prefer to just hold my baby as though she is napping, with a blanket (often I just use my sling as a blanket) wrapped under her and pulled up high enough to block any view of the "action." Luckily, my babies facilitate this by not wiggling around too much. I also worry that nursing covers give the impression that breastfeeding is something to be so self-concious about that we should all hide under 'baby-burkas.'

5. A Breast Pump. I am a stay-at-home-mom. I am also a work-at-home-mom. On the occassions when I do leave home, baby is slung along, because my husband is often deployed. Sure, it would be nice to have a couple of bottles of milk stored for the very, very rare occassion that I might go out without the baby, but it just doesn't ever happen. At least not for more than an hour or so. So I have no need for a pump. In fact, I would go so far as to say that NO ONE needs a breast pump, unless they expect to be separated from their baby.

Now, some moms are told they 'have to' pump in the beginning, to get their milk supply up. I say that's a bunch of hooey. Your baby will bring it in, as long as you let her do all her sucking at the breast. Using artificial nipples and milk to replace the real thing will of course tell your breast that the milk is not needed. You will get engorged, and your breasts will respond by making less milk. Nurse your baby on demand, and believe me, your breasts will make the right amount, and get over that initial engorgement faster. Even if baby is sleepy, I would much rather wake a sleepy baby than hook up to a machine that will just interrupt the supply and demand cycle.

Of course I know many moms disagree with me, and love and/or need the above baby things . . . please comment and let me know!