Flashback to 2001

My husband just emailed me to ask if I've reflected on 9/11 this year, considering that he is once again on an aircraft carrier, in exactly the place he was on that day seven years ago, doing the exact same job. I imagine that since his scenery is suddenly exactly the same as that morning, he is reflecting on what is different about his life now.

But my scenery is dramatically different than it was then. On September 11, 2001 I had no kids yet and was between jobs, I had a lot of time on my hands to email my husband and watch the news.  On anniversaries of that day, what I think about most is the horror we all felt watching the news coverage and thinking about the people in those buildings. That's what I reflect on each September 11th, those minutes of terror and fear, courage and humanity, the value of each life lost that day. And what it was like to stand in front of the television, watching it happen live.

I just dug up the first email I sent Jamie that day, and thought I would share the flashback. I was not sure what kind of news coverage he was getting on the boat, so I was trying to tell him what kinds of reactions were going on here.

From: Kristi P. Vega

Date: Tuesday, September 11, 2001 12:03 PM

To: LT James Vega

Re: craziness

 

Jamie,

 

What a crazy, terrible, terrible morning.  I just called the Care Line and heard that you all can receive messages, you just cannot send them.  I would've emailed you sooner if I'd known that, but I had assumed that all email was down.

 

This really is a frightening situation.  As far as scaring and panicking an entire nation, the terrorists have definitely succeeded.  Not only have large areas of Washington and all of Manhattan been closed down, companies everywhere are closing and buidings are being evacuated.  Your dad, my mom, Lori, shan, Barbra, Megan--all have called me saying their companies have closed.  Your Dad even told me to go get supplies at the grocery, get cash, and fill the gas tanks.  Sarah has called me countless times, occassionally sobbing. 

 

Baby, what is going on.  We have to do some serious stuff, because people can no longer live their lives.  Your parents are canceling their plans to go to Mike's parent's day weekend next week.  I do not want to fly anywhere this fall for vacation--we will definitely be driving.  Disneyworld closed down today!!!!  You have wondered aloud in the past what exactly is our way of life that we are protecting anymore--surely if anything, it is freedom from fear.  Freedom from the fear we felt in Mexico that night, freedom from the fear that makes your dad get water and food and cash and gas.  Freedom to travel, to conduct business, to feel secure in your home and neighborhood and city.

 

There have been clips of Palestinian Arabs on the West Bank celebrating.  Up til now, I have been dismayed at terrorist acts over there, on both sides of that dispute, but I at least understood how they could be motivated to do that.  But this . . . 120,000 people in the World Trade Center.  I watched the towers fall, live on television.  I saw it as it happened, just as family members of workers in there saw it live on television, the entire buildings collapsing.  Several hundred people from those four hijacked flights.  And Arabs are celebrating.  I don't care what they think their holy cause is.  That is just evil.  How can anyone be so misled to think that this is some kind of holy war.  120,000 civilians.  A whole nation panicked, fearful, terrorized.  Terror is not war.  How can anyone think terror is justified.  I do believe there can be "just" warfare.  And maybe the idea has been hard for me to get my mind around before, but it is suddenly crystallized for me that NO terrorism can be "just."  

 

I am praying for all those people.  Those families.  All of us.  And all of you.  We have got to do something. I wish I could do something.  I hate to sound like a WWII poster, but if I were a man, I just might join the Navy!!

 

But don't worry about me, I am not afraid or anything.  And I am trying to reassure your family and whoever else calls to keep things in perspective.  But I am mad.  And I am anxious about what we are going to do about this.

 

I love you, baby.  Take care of each other, and be careful.

All my love,

Kristi

I think it was almost 2 weeks before Jamie was able to send a message back to me. Each day I wrote to him about what people were doing and feeling back here, because I felt like he was missing a major event in our nation's collective experience. I wonder how different the view was for him. His carrier was on it's way home from the Gulf, and Jamie was on duty in the ready room, watching the news. Very soon after the towers fell, the carrier made a hard u-turn, and they were very busy for awhile.

 

For the record, Jamie's parents changed their minds and did indeed fly to my brother-in-law's parents day weekend at the Coast Guard Academy the following week. I guess it's hard to scare a Vega for long. ;-)