We finally got an offer on our California house. It's not a great offer, but we've waited so long, the market is so slow . . . I had to work hard to convince Jamie to take it, and I think our agent could use some Zantac right about now. We have spent the greater part of today trying to fax/scan/teleport all the myriad documents (hey, Sarah, I just worked in the word myriad! do you even read my blog?) to complete the contract. Come to think of it, I could use some Zantac. I really want out of this mortage.
I don't know what is up with our All-in-One printer/copier/fax/scanner/pasta-maker, but after two hours of trying different ways to send the documents, I was tearing my hair out, the kids were irratible and whining for my attention, and I had visions of the fax-beating scene from Office Space. We finally had to stop and feed our kids and ourselves, for our own sanity. Jamie was filling our plates while I dashed upstairs for a long-postponed potty break. Then the phone rang--our agent again. I tried to re-zip up as I heard Jamie thunder across the kitchen toward the phone, then I heard a mighty CRASH. I stopped short, and then I heard a yelping "AWWWRRRGHPH!"
I ran to the top of the stairs, wanting to know if Jamie was alright, but before I could speak, there was another "AHHHHWWRGH!"
I knew my husband was sprawled on the floor, probably writhing in agony from the sounds of it, but I began to laugh. The phone was on it's fourth ring. The food was getting cold. The printer/fax/scanner/woodchipper was covered in copies of legal documents with initials here, here, and there. I still had to pee. And I heard weaker, more pathetic "ahhhh!"
By then I should have been down there, checking on him, looking concerned and sympathetic. Except I could not get the smirk of amusement off of my face, and I was afraid my laughing would make him mad. Anyway, he was getting up finally, and managed to get to the phone before the machine picked up. I heard him telling our agent that we still could not get the scanner/fax/printer/snowcone-machine to work, and we were sitting down to dinner, so it would be awhile.
Well, now the kids are in bed, I think all the initialling has been done, documents have been scanned in batches and emailed, and I hope all arrives safely on the other side. The upside is that my husband bought some really nice bottles of wine in Canada a few weeks ago, which he would not let us drink. He said it was for special occasion, we can't just "drink it cuz we want some wine." I've asked twice this week and was told no, (No wine for you!) the night was not "worthy." (Not sponge-worthy?) But tonight I got him to open a bottle.
I just pray that we are done sending documents for awhile, because I am in no mood to touch the copier/fax/printer/makeitandbakeitoven for at least a few days.